- Where to Go For Help
- Should I Go to Someone with the Same Spiritual or Religious Background
- Your Rights When Discussing Spiritual Issues
- Interviewing Your Potential Therapist
- Concluding Remarks on Getting Help
There are many sources of help for spiritual wounding; however, not all sources of help are equal. Furthermore, the appropriate source may vary depending upon the person, the context, and the type of spiritual wound. The five primary sources of help are 1) Self-Help Resources, 2) Spiritual Leaders, 3) Support Groups, 4) Individual Therapy, and 5) Group Therapy.
Self Help Resources. There are a few good self-help resources and many, many very poor ones. I tend to be skeptical of most self-help resources because of the amount of damage which can potentially occur from them. Rarely have I heard someone say that a self-help book really made a difference in their life. At the same time, some of them can be very helpful. In general, I would recommend only using self-help resources which were recommended to you by a professional.
Spiritual Leaders. Spiritual leaders can be great sources of help. For many situations, they may be the most effective form. In particular, spiritual leaders may be the most effective source of help when the spiritual wound stems from struggles with the beliefs of that religious group. However, there are also many times when they may not be the most appropriate source. While spiritual leaders are often the first people that turn to when having psychological problems, they often have very little training. A good spiritual leader will be well aware of their limitations in counseling. If they are not aware of these limitations, they are not a good source for help with problems involving psychological pain.
Support Groups. My evaluation of support groups is similar to that of self-help resources. They can be helpful, but can also further complicate problems. In general, I would be cautious of support groups which are not lead by a professional with some training in leading groups or has a leader who is supervised by a therapist or counselor. In group experiences, emotions are often intensified. If the leader does not have some ability to recognize how this may impact people and the group, this can lead to an exacerbation of the problem. In general, I would recommend only considering support groups which you are referred to by a professional and/or that are lead by someone with appropriate training.
Individual Therapy. As with the other resources, there can be pluses and minuses with this option. I must acknowledge that as a psychologist, I have a bias in favor of the individual and group therapy. However, this is only within certain provisions. If the problem is partially spiritual in nature, then it is very important that the therapist have training in dealing with religious and spiritual issues in therapy (see below).
Group Therapy. This form of therapy has some advantages and disadvantages when compared to individual therapy. Contrary to what some people think, this is not a second rate form of therapy. In fact, group therapy often may be as effective as or more effective than individual therapy. Additionally, it is often more affordable than individual therapy. However, as with individual therapy, it is important that the therapist has training in dealing with religious and spiritual issues in therapy. Another complication with this form of therapy is the various other individuals in the group besides the therapist(s). Some people may not feel comfortable talking about spiritual wounds with people of a different spiritual background. Others may not feel comfortable sharing their spiritual wounds with people of the same spiritual background. When considering this option, it is important to discuss any concerns with the therapist ahead of time.
Should I go to Someone with the Same Spiritual or Religious Background
The answer to this surprises many people; however, in general, the answer is not necessarily. It depends upon the type of help you are seeking. If you are going to a therapist or counselor, the answer often is "no."
It's understandable that many people wish to find a therapist with the same spiritual or religion background. People are often afraid that if the therapist is not of the same background, that he or she may try to change their faith or take it away. Others may think that a therapist of the same background may be able to better understand them and thus, better help them. However, the initial research suggests this may not be true. Many experts also believe that having the same background may often complicate things as much as help.
What is most important is that the therapist has training in dealing with religious or spiritual issues. Many people may identify themselves as a "Christian Counselor" or a "Buddhist Therapist" just based on the fact that they are a Christian or Buddhist and also a therapist. However, many of these people have no training in working with spiritual issues in therapy. Because of their lack of training, these therapists are often not very effective in dealing with these issues and may even further complicate things.
When seeking a therapist, it is more important to ask "Do you have training in working with spiritual issues in therapy?" than "Are you of the same religious background?" It is important that your therapist respect your belief system, regardless of whether it is one they share or not. However, making sure that they share your beliefs may not be very important in relation to the outcome of therapy. It is likely to be less important in obtaining a satisfactory outcome in therapy than what their belief system is.
Your Rights When Discussing Spiritual Issues
When attending therapy, you do not have to talk about your religious or spiritual beliefs unless you choose to. If you feel pressured to talk about your spiritual beliefs and are not comfortable doing so, you should discuss this with your therapist.
However, at the same time, if your spiritual beliefs are related to your reason for beginning therapy and you choose not to talk about them, this may limit the effectiveness of therapy. It may take some time before feeling comfortable discussing your spirituality. In this case, it is also advisable to let your therapist know that you want to work toward including spirituality in therapy.
Most therapists encourage clients to critically think about many aspects of their lives. This may include spirituality. However, there is a big difference between encouraging people to critically think about their spiritual beliefs and trying to take those beliefs away. Any time you feel your therapist is trying to take your faith away, be sure to tell your therapist. In most cases, this may be a misunderstanding or unintentional. If you don't let your therapist know, it will likely interfere with the process of therapy.
Part of respecting you and your spiritual beliefs in therapy is encouraging you to explore how these beliefs developed, where they came from, and if you desire to continue to belief in the same manner. Most individuals choose to retain the core of their belief system (i.e., being Christian, Hindu, or Buddhist), but may choose to alter some aspects of this belief system. For others, they retain their belief system as it is, but alter the way it relates to the rest of their life.
Interviewing Your Potential Therapist
You have a right to interview your therapist. Some counselors and therapists become offended when you begin asking questions about their qualifications, competencies, or approach to therapy. If you find a therapist resistant to answering these questions, they may not be the best fit. Certainly, therapists have a right to have some concerns about prospective clients who ask many questions. Some people who ask a lot of questions are also likely to drop out of therapy if they don't get quick results or at the first sign of conflict. Therapists generally prefer clients who are committed to therapy and willing to work through the difficult times in the therapy process. At the same time, it is the client's right to be an informed consumer.
Before interviewing your therapist, you should begin by asking yourself a few questions. First, what do you want from therapy? The obvious answer for many people is to feel better or take away the pain. For others, they may desire to grow in self-awareness or grow as a person (which doesn't always mean feeling better!). Still others want to feel more in control of their lives, improve their relationships, or gain more insight into their behaviors and feelings. Second, you should ask how committed you are to therapy. In most instances, there will be some difficult times in the therapy process, including conflict with your therapist. You are much more likely to have a successful outcome if you are willing to try to work through these conflicts and disappointments that are inevitable in therapy. If you are looking for the "ideal therapy situation," you are likely to be disappointed.
When preparing to interview your therapist, you should keep a few things in mind. Therapists often return calls between appointments and may only have a couple of minutes to talk. They may not be able to answer too many questions over the phone, so prioritize what you want to know. Additionally, some therapists would prefer to discuss these issues in an initial appointment. It is easier to discuss many of these issues in person instead of over the phone. So again, be sure to prioritize what you feel you need to know.
Here's some questions you may want to consider asking:
- Do you have any training or background in dealing with spiritual and religious issues in therapy?
- Are you comfortable working with someone with my spiritual background?
- Are you familiar with my religious background?
- What is your general approach to therapy?
- What is your approach to dealing with relgious and spiritual issues in therapy?
There are many different approaches to therapy, which are commonly referred to as theoretical orientations. Though not related directly to spirituality, this is another important consideration in choosing a therapist. Unfortunately, there are not many resources aimed at assisting consumers in determining which type of therapy they would prefer. One resource is the Depth Psychotherapy Network; however, this only provides information on approaches to therapy which are grouped under the definition of "depth psychology." Many other forms of therapy which exist.
Concluding Remarks on Getting Help
In conclusion, it is important to know that you have the right to be an informed consumer. In today's mental health field, it is important that you are aware of this right. Because of the pressures of managed care and competition in the field, many therapists will do all they can to try to get and keep as many clients as possible instead of making sure they are the right fit as a therapist. One good sign of a therapist that is honest and has integrity is that they are committed to finding the right fit for a client instead of putting all their energy into keeping every client who gives them a call.
Keep in mind that there is hope! This section discussed many types of help. Sometimes the biggest challenge is finding the type of help that is most appropriate for you.